Lauren Cohan.

That spiral that you see on the wall there – you think that’s just a cute little logo for my production company?

Well, you’re not entirely wrong, it does fulfil that function. But it also means a whole lot more.

Spiral Productions are famous for their work with many beautiful women, Lauren, here, included. And we treat the talent well. Exceptionally well, if I do say so myself.

By the end of their time with us. women like Lauren feel so happy, relaxed, calm, contented, that they’re more than happy to pay a visit to any of our company partners upon request.

Once requested, women like Lauren feel an overwhelming compulsion to dress like the highest-class of prostitute, and dedicate their visit to a company partner towards pleasing and pleasuring the partner in whatever way they are told.

Women like Lauren never question it, never stop to think why. It’s all part of the deal with Spiral Productions. When it feels as good as this does, being a marketable product of the Spiral is the least you’ll do for the company…

Mmmmm… I feel like I need to sign up…

Maybe their shell company Time Warner Cable will help me find them…