those thinky thoughts


This might cause some hurt feelings (some kind of intentional, some not); to those of you out there who are grappling with you sexuality, sexual orientation, gender expression, or just struggling with your emotions – what follows is ****NOT**** directed at you; i want to be up-front about my support for you all on your journey – my t-girls, my gurls, and those folks who maybe haven’t yet self-identified along the way – your discovery, and your acceptance of your happiest, healthiest, most-whole selves.

but, as is more or less inescapable in the portions of porn!tumblr where i wade, there seem to be a lot of over-the-top girly blogs that are blatantly run by boys/guys/men who *aren’t* on that journey or transitioning. i wonder about some part of their motivations.

posting pictures of beautiful women who fit a certain aesthetic? i totally get that. whether it’s bimbos, or fit girls, or heavy girls, or whatever makes you hot. you don’t need to pretend to be one to reblog them, and, indeed, plenty of folks do just that. i mean, hi, i’m right here. 🙂  

and it’s not like there are any shortage of unrepentantly masculine blogs/bloggers who post the same pictures, with and without captions and commentary (i won’t dignify the various misogynist/degradation blogs by including them under that aegis; those make up a whoooooole lot of my tumblr savior filter and blocked-blog roster, though)

but pretending to be what gets you off is harder for me to understand, especially when it comes to going into roleplay with followers (who might, themselves, also be inhabiting a tumblr persona of exactly the same flavor). 

i was upset, angry, and felt a measure of betrayal when Tara came out as having been a catfish last halloween. i suppose that might have been the biggest instance in my experience, because, up until then, “she” had been a friend with whom i had corresponded off and on. finding out i had been friends with someone who had never fully existed hurt.

is there some kind of power trip in having “fooled” another guy into getting off on your act of impersonation?  is it some kind of ploy to circumvent a girl’s caution around guys who are trying to get into our pants?  because, honestly, most of you are terrible at acting like women. if that’s how you think girls or women think, i’m sorry for you, and hope you can learn and understand more about us as people, rather than just as a narrowly-curated sliver of sexuality.

so, please, help me understand you and why you do that? 

Recently saw a post come across my dash where you mentioned wishing someone had responded to this. So… As someone who did it secretly more than once in the past (and is doing it openly now)…
Part of it was wanting to explore that side of myself, but being ashamed to do so publicly.
Part of it was comvincing myself that everyone online is a constructed persona anyway, so it’s not *really* lying.
Part of it was self-loathing and wanting to create a persona that would be as unlike me as possible–and what’s the opposite of an ugly, dominant man if not a sexy submissive woman?
Part of it was (and is) toxic social conditioning that makes me associate subbing with femininity, and hence forces me to adopt a feminine persona if I want to explore my submissive side.
And finally, part of it was that available femsubs are impossible to find but maledoms are a dime a dozen online, and a lot of them are assholes so it’s easy to convince yourself that they deserve it, so the best way to get M/f play going is to be the f.

And I think maybe it’s so common in MC and related fetishes is because ultimately, there’s not that much difference between fantasizing about controlling a woman’s mind, and playing the role of a woman. Either way, you’re getting inside a woman’s head and determining her thoughts and actions.