ok don’t get me wrong the ‘salt and pepper diner’ bit is hysterical, but john mulaney has so many more hilarious stories that no one seems to talk about:
•the party at the house of the teacher that everyone hated
•the dog trainer
•meeting bill clinton
•“hUSH!”
•“-too old to be a duckling, quack, quack!”
•“eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.”
•literally any story involving his parents (especially the black coffee one)
just please, do yourselves a favor, don’t just stop at ‘salt and pepper diner’, listen to all this guy’s stories because they are gold
Don’t forget
– sometimes I get nervous on airplanes
– Delta Airlines / The I Love My Girlfriend
– “I just wanna sit here and feed my birds”
– JOHN that bathroom’s been closed for FOURTY YEARS!
– the Lawyer Parents stories
The babysitter
“I’m gay, I have AIDS, and I’m new in town.”
“Hey Tony.”
“HI KIM.”XD! I need to get Master to watch John Mulaney with me SO bad.
“I am a proud Asian-American woman”
Special Victims Unit