youllremainmyhumbleservant:

glamsexydark:

Classy.

Amazing pics @ http://glamsexydark.tumblr.com

I had never wanted to be a botanist. I thought there were far more sexy specialties, but sometimes the dice fall a certain way. So there was a scholarship, then a helpful advisor, then a grant, and so here we are.

Turns out that we’ve only scratched the surface of earth’s flora, and one hardly needs to make exotic trips in order to find new species. But it’s much more fun to do so, even if my preferred version of camping involves a cabin, running water, and a full fridge. When you’re deep in the Amazon, you can discover all sorts of new, interesting phenomena. If you would be so kind as to lean against that counter there, thank you.

My last trip, we found flowers found well upriver have a curious effect on the smaller animals that nearing the river to drink. The pollen has a mild soporific effect, which alone would be bad enough. Most interestingly, the compounds greatly alter the animals’ perception of risk, which is not a great idea when anaconda lie in wait. The droppings fed the roots, and the circle of life begins anew.

I had only heard of such effects from toxoplasma gondii, and my team was excited to learn more about this when we got back home. The lab was my home, and I was eager to see what I could learn. Now please remove your clothing, you may just pile it up there…

Back at the lab, isolating the compounds proved to be easier then anticipated, though antidotes were much more difficult. Further testing confirmed similar effects in many species. Concentrated enough, even, say, a large mammal like yourself will find actions that normally seem ill-advised aren’t so bad after all.

The euphoria wasn’t discovered until human testing. Trust me, as good as you feel now is nothing compared to what you’ll feel shortly. And not just because o just told you to feel that. Although I suppose that won’t hurt either.

Now, if I can have you slide to your knees, we can begin further testing.