My hands are shaking as I try to write this. My heart is racing so fast it feels like it’s going to explode. This man had control over me for 5 years of my life, completely brainwashed from the time I was a minor. His url is daddys-twisted-craving. I think he’s gone by different ones in the past but all similar.

Let me preface this by saying that I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. I am a rather unstable person myself. But it’s become clear that these are the kinds of people who he targets, because they are easier to take advantage of and manipulate. I have been through so much trauma that my memories can be a bit jumbled, and as other people have mentioned, this man rushes to Skype calls so quickly so that there is no text evidence of conversations. So, here is the story as best I can remember it:

I was 17 years old when he first approached me. I remember telling him this, as I was lying about my age to another man at the time and we used to laugh about it together. I know 17 doesn’t seem *that* young, but I was very very immature back then. Through a combination of that, as well as my mental illness, AS WELL as the fact that I was going through my own trauma with my family at the time, it was super easy for him to start molding me into exactly what he wanted.

I had been working at a summer camp and had been babysitting for years before we met. He immediately found out about this and started making suggestive comments about my job. At first it sickened me, but he already had so much control over me that I just let it slide. But he kept going, and kept going, and kept going, and I wanted so badly to please him, so sometimes I would play along with his fantasies via text. This is what he has threatened to blackmail me with, saying that “I was evil” from the beginning and was the one who initiated these sort of chats. I wasn’t. Those kinds of things had NEVER crossed my mind until I started talking to him and aren’t things I *EVER* think about anymore now that we aren’t talking. Same thing with beastiality. Same thing with fucking members of my family. EVERY time I brought up my brother he would ask if he was hot. My father passed away and he would continually ask me if I was “sure he never abused me as a kid because most people who are as fucked up as I am were raped as a little girl.”

There are smaller things too. There’s the way he will spend an entire night on Skype with you and then ignore you the next day. There’s the way he makes you feel special and like you’re the most amazing person in the world, but then when you actually look back on it, he never really wanted to talk about you, only him and his fantasies, and he only really wanted to hear about how great HE was. He has this toxic way of turning girls against each other and making all of his partners jealous. I thought it was just my issues at first but recently I’ve noticed that he just breeds drama, probably because it turns him on to have all these girls fighting over him. 

I don’t really know how to end this. And I wish I could spend more time editing it, and part of me feels like I should wait to see how I feel in a few hours, because maybe I’ll just want to run back to him like I always do, like I’m conditioned to do, to blame myself for all of this and go back to worshipping him. But deep down I know it’s wrong, I know it was all wrong, so before I change my mind I’m going to post this and hope for the best. I don’t need anyone’s pity, and I don’t want anyone to go attacking him on his blog now. I just want other people to be aware of who he is and what he does, so they can avoid going through the same trauma that me and so many other girls have.

If you have any questions or want to chat, I’m around.

@that-brainy-bimbo is an amazing woman and I believe every word of what she wrote. It’s also backed by similar stories about him in the community.

Another thing to keep in mind. I’ve never heard of this guy, and I’m glad for that, but now I know to be on the look out. 

I admire so many things about @that-brainy-bimbo, she’s who I want to be when I grow up, but today I’m blown away by her courage in coming forward.

Another name to add to the block list.