Shelly had to admit — she was proud of her ass.

She used to be proud of her LSAT score, or the fact that was at the top of her class in law school.

But that was before the the guy ranked in second in the class got his hands on a universal remote. Then Shelly found her sharp edge turning soft. Her appreciation of efficiency turned into a love of all things cute and fun. Studying was such a drag, especially when the gym around the block had such great workout classes.

It wasn’t too long before Shelly dropped out. The allure of spending her days playing on snapchat at the gym, or going shopping, or getting massages, or generally living the life of a spoiled girl was simply too much.

Besides, it wasn’t like Shelly actually had to work anymore. Her boyfriend could be the breadwinner, and he was really going places. After all, he was at the top of his class in law school. And a man like that needed a girlfriend worth being proud of.