Good Girl

Mistress asked me to write a piece about how it feels to be called Her good girl.

I love when Mistress calls me “Good
Girl.” It feels right, and powerful, like everything is as it should
be–and it’s _extremely_ hot on top of that.
Mistress has asked me to write about why I like it so much, and I love doing what She asks, so… here goes.

The
simplest part is the second word, “girl.” I like being called that, a
lot. For starters, it’s affirmation. Having my femininity acknowledged
is still a relatively new experience for me, and just causes this little
bubble of happiness every time it happens. For example, this last
weekend I presented openly and publicly as a woman for the first time.
Strangers called me “ma’am” four times and I was included in a “ladies”
once, and I treasured every one of those moments.

But
there’s something special about “girl.” “Ma’am,” “ladies,”
“woman”–these are serious terms for adults, something you call an
equal. “Girl” is playful, youthful, and while not precisely
disrespectful, not a term of respect, either. It just feels more
submissive, a reminder that I’m here for Her to play with. Plus, I’m
still getting the hang of womanhood, but I can just about swing
girlhood.

There’s
a couple reasons I like “good.” One is a long-standing anxiety about
whether I’m Good Enough™. A fear that I am unworthy of my place in
the world, undeserving of my friends or my lifestyle or even to exist at
all. But when Mistress tells me I’m good, I know I am worthy to be
Hers, and so I’m worthy of all the rest.

And,
too, the fact that She gets to decide if I’m good, that it’s Her
position to evaluate me, makes me feel so submissive. The fact that She
then uses that to tell me I’m good makes me feel valued and valuable,
treasured, and RIGHT.

And
finally there’s the phrase itself. Such a staple of DS play, the praise
a Mistress gives her toy when She is pleased. A staple of hypnofetish
in particular–to the point that “good girl” is THE cliche pleasure
trigger. Years of reading MCStories lead me to associate the phrase with
power exchange, with pleasure conditioning, with reward for obedience.

I
love it. It’s at once rewarding and aspirational, what I want to hear
and what I want to be. And most of all, I love being Mistress’ Good
Girl, owned and obedient, treasured and desired, used and rewarded. I
can’t imagine anything it feels better to be.