my brainwashing fantasies worry me.
there’s so much brainwash content on tumblr that is really hot and really easy to get off to (specfically, to get off on the fantasy that I am brainwashing myself by masturbating to such content) but like, I actually don’t want to wind up beholden to some random or ill-meaning tumblr poster somewhere (to the extent that this is actually possible. it seems like there are mixed opinions about it). and I don’t want to accidentally stuff myself into some box where I am Le Good Girl and I only edge or whatever. many kinds of sex are great, and I would like to keep my brain and my ability to have amazing human-connection sex without any kink anything. if that makes sense.
I’ve been thinking for the last couple of days about what it is about brainwashing that I like so much– is it the slight sense of danger? is it the mindlessly accepting orders? cause I could play with that outside of an actual brainwash context. maybe it’s safer? I dunno.
also, consider the extent to which I have conditioned myself to respond sexually to hypno-content by masturbating to it for almost my entire life. like I mean sure I have a kink for it but I’ve also reinforced the hell out of it over the years. you could say I’m already kind of brainwashed. sort of, lol.
anybody else have any thoughts about stuff like this?
The fantasy of being brainwashed is a bit of a mathematical formula for me:
Brainwashing+Conditioning=Additional fantasies+Automatic/instinctive trust in the brainwasher
More fantasies=More things that give Pleasure
More sources of pleasure x More automatic trust in the brainwasher=More variable and dynamic hypnotic experiences+Deeper hypnotic states+More things just occur.
In this sense, brainwashing as a kink just makes logical sense if you view it in terms of having more fun, having new experiences, and having more pleasure.
But on a non-math sense, there’s the idea that the effects of suggestions that are imbued via brainwashing just occurs impulsively, automatically, without need to think about it: They become part of your natural heuristic process. When this happens, it appeals to several different things depending on the hypnotee:
1. That’s hot, because it’s something that’s just happening without me doing anything. Hypnotic brainwashing is sex magic, what the hell.
2. That’s hot, because I’m pleasing the person who put this into me by having unconsciously followed their suggestions! I’m doing well!
3. That’s hot, because there’s nothing I can do about it. I relish the feeling of helplessness whenever I can safely feel it. Tie me up and brainwash me pls!
4. That’s fascinating, because I’m very much intrigued now by what my brain can do and how this can be applied in my everyday life!
5. That’s fascinating/hot, because I’m curious if I can be another person for a bit or become different than how I am now! I want to experience change. I want to be aroused easier by more things/see how far this could go!
There’s a variety of reasons why brainwashing itself can appeal to a wide variety of people. It’s also a little more deeply engrained in the cultural zeitgeist because a lot more people believe in brainwashing than they do hypnosis.
It’s just accepted that people can be brainwashed (the Cold War and MKUltra/Soviet brainwashing things might have played a role in that) without a need for “belief”, whereas hypnosis is still under the cultural heuristic of “something you have to believe in for it to work.” Combined with hypnosis, it provides a logical baseline for hypnosis to function that just works without the need for a convincer or even necessarily an induction.
I had a lot of similar thoughts and worries. Then I met someone I could trust to brainwash me.
And if my weird, squishy, newly hatched clueless trans girl ass could do it, so can you!