I’ve
tried to avoid it. I stay clean shaven, for one. The sinister goatee is
too much of a cliche, and I’m one of those people who look really good
with facial hair. I used to bill myself specifically as an ethical
hypnotist, but I think that just scared people more. I even do a whole
extended bit on explaining how you can’t hypnotize anyone against their
will.
None of it matters, and it’s all because of my assistant. Once
an audience realizes the barely-dressed woman who just stepped through
the cheap silver tinsel is Alexandra freaking Daddario… Yeah.
Can’t
blame them, either. A ridiculously hot Hollywood actress deciding to
quit the biz to start working for a cheesy stage hypnotist? That’s just
doesn’t happen. I’d assume she was brainwashed too.
But
I swear to God, she’s not my hypnotized sex slave. Yes, I hypnotize
her, but only at her request. And yes, we are lovers. But a slave?
Hardly. Frankly, she’s more in control of this relationship than I am.
I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t be venting do you like this, should I? That’s hardly what you’re here for.
You don’t mind listening to this, do you? I didn’t think so.
It
all started nearly a year ago. Some Hollywood producer hired me for
their party. They told me to really camp it up, and I obliged. I did a
sinister laugh, I did weird stuff with my eyebrows – the whole package.
And when Alexandra here volunteered, I joked I was going to keep her as
my lovely assistant. You have to be careful what you say around
hypnotized people, but I had her in such a light trance the only way she
would have taken it as a suggestion was if it was something she already
wanted to do.
How was I to know being hypnotized and used for sex was one of her deepest fantasies?
So
when I got back to my dressing room after the show, there was
Alexandra, completely naked, calling me Master, and begging me to give
her orders.
Yeah.
I
really should have thought a bit about the situation, but
realistically, that was never going to happen. There’s a few things that
just bypass the male brain, and a famous, beautiful, naked woman
pleading with you to have your way with her is about ten of them.
I
did figure out what had happened afterwards, at least. Alexandra told
me about being young and seeing women hypnotized in old movies, and how
it always made her feel sweaty and tingly. Getting older, she became
aware how every man, and more than a few women, wanted to get into her
panties. She could have practically anyone. Paralyzed by choice, her
fantasy became someone choosing for her. Always fascinating others with
her looks, her fantasy became finding someone who could fascinate her.
And
now that I’d done that, she explained, she had no choice but to quit
acting and become my assistant. As you can imagine, this prompted a lot
of discussion. First off, that she absolutely had a choice. It took me
ages to convince Alexandra she wasn’t really my slave, and I’m still not
sure she isn’t just pretending to believe that.
Second,
I thought quitting acting sounded like a bad idea. I couldn’t pay a
hundredth of what Hollywood could. I’d have gleefully dated her, or
married her on the spot, or simply become a kept men providing regular trances
and fucking.
It soon
became clear, though, that this was non-negotiable. Being an assistant
was just too central to her fantasy. To Alexandra, the beautiful
assistant was a status symbol. The more powerful the hypnotist, the more
attractive the woman, and she wanted to be that power display. My
options were either hire a ridiculously sexy woman to be my assistant
and be able to do whatever I want with her perfectly sculpted body – or
have nothing to do with her again.
Well,
you already know my answer. At the time, I figured having her as my
assistant would be a huge career booster. I envisioned magazine
interviews, joint talk show appearances, maybe a Netflix contract.
Instead,
the result was scandal. Tabloids went through their photo archives
looking for pics of Alexandra looking empty and dazed. I lost some of my
best bookings because of quote ethical concerns unquote. The bookings I
kept, ticket sales plummeted. As far as my colleagues are concerned, I’m a persona non grata. My career is in the toilet.
Alexandra
doesn’t help either. She denies it, but it’s clear she wants me to be
the evil mind controller she’s always dreamed about. For example, she’s
friends with Kate Upton. They met doing a comedy together – don’t look
up the Rotten Tomatoes rating. We’ve actually had dinner with her a
couple times. She actually demanded that I not bring a pocket watch or
pendant with me. Now, you and I both know I don’t need such props to put
someone under, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. Let her have her
sense of safety.
The trouble is, Kate Upton looks like… hang on, let me pull up a picture on my phone.
You
see? Well, Alexandra is always telling me about how submissive Kate is.
How weak-willed. How easily fascinated by shiny objects. How much she’d
love for the two of them to kneel next to each other and together beg
to pleasure me with their perfect bodies…
Yeah. Not only does everyone assume I’m an evil manipulator, but my girlfriend is constantly tempting me to be evil.
*sigh* Honestly, I should really fire/break up with her. This is just not a healthy relationship.
But who am I kidding? I could never leave her, and she’ll never leave me. We’re stuck with each other.
And
that’s why you’re here – and more to the point, why you’re standing at
attention clad only in lacey panties. This is an experiment. I’ve never done anything like this before, but good relationship is built on
compromise. If the woman I love wants me to be evil, then I owe it to her to at least try.
If tonight works – and I really think it’s going to – we’re having dinner with Kate again next week. It also so happens to be the night of our one-year anniversary. I think you see where I’m going with this.
Alexandra will be walking through that door any moment now. Remember the lines I gave you. I know they’re cheesy – they’re supposed to be. Play up the helplessness and blank stares.
