“Hey, I…”
“Hm?” Kim swiveled her chair away from her game to face me. “Yes, pet?”
“Oh! I don’t mean to bother, if you’re in the middle of a raid, or–”
“I always have time for you, pet.” She patted her lap and beckoned me over. I walked over, hesitant, and knelt in front of her, laying my head gently in her lap.
“…Unless you’re actually in a raid, right?”
“Hmm,” she mused. “I mean, you can always kneel by me or lean against my lap, even if I am in a raid. But yes.” She grinned. “I can get a bit preoccupied sometimes. I’m sorry.”
“No, I love– that, about you!” I laughed nervously.
She raised an eyebrow and looked at me. “Ookkayyy…you said that weird, but I accept the compliment anyway. Quest completed. You have received head pats.” She smoothed my hair gently, her smile growing wider as I squirmed and purred in her lap. “Cutie,” she cooed, “Did you have something to tell me?”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “It’s always…it’s always so amazing how just kneeling for you washes away my worries and, and yeah. And stuff. Makes me feel…calm, at peace.”
“Awww, I…I like that, too,” Kim whispered. “It means a lot to me that you’d kneel for me.”
I pulled my head away from her lap and looked up at her, worried. “O-Of course! Always! I always–!” I stammered. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“No no, it’s not that I doubt it…shhh shh, it’s okay. Caaalm down. Hm?” She tilted her head, a concerned look spreading through her features. “Are you…okay? You’re acting kind of weird.”
“I…” I looked at the floor.
“Do…do you want me to make it…easier for you to speak your mind, or?”
“No! I–” I stopped mid-protest, my heart breaking at Kim’s expression, now slightly hurt.
“No no, no wait.” I scratched at the back of my neck impatiently. “I didn’t mean– I didn’t mean to say no to you so strongly, or that specifically, just, I mean I like, I love what you do, to…me…” My words trailed off as I started blushing at foggy and jumbled memories. “I just, want to be able to remember this, is all.”
“Oh sweetie.” Kim reached her hands towards me, stopping just short of touching me. “I- I didn’t know that you were worried about that… We could have talked…We should talk now, about it, um…” Her hands clasped together, fidgeting.
My heart sank. I made her doubt herself. I made her worried. This was my fault, I had to–
“No, I…!” I sighed. Wasn’t there anything I could think of besides saying ‘no’? That was just confusing her, I didn’t know how to tell her, I didn’t know how to say…
“YES!” I blurted out.
Kim flinched, surprised by my sudden outburst. “Yes to…?”
“To you! To all of you!”
“Uhhhh…” Her surprised expression had changed to one of confusion.
“To you, and your games and raids, and the games that can’t be paused, and, and, and…I, to kneeling to you, and…” I felt the telltale sting of tears threatening to spill.
“Sweetie, what’s…”
“I love you!”
Silence hung in the air for what felt like hours.
“Oh, hun, I…I love you too…?” Kim slipped out of her chair and knelt in front of me, hugging me closely. “What…what’s the matter? Why are you crying?”
I felt like an idiot. “Just…I just really wanted to say that to you, and, and I didn’t know how to say it, and I’m not good with words, and…yeah. It feels…” I laughed, relieved. “It feels kind of anticlimactic for you to just…respond like that. I’m not upset!! I’m glad you…I’m glad you love me too,” I said softly.
Kim broke the hug and moved back, staring at me intensely. She gripped my shoulders tightly.
“Dear, you…you know you’ve told me this before, right?”
“Ah–” I couldn’t help but gasp in surprise, my mouth open. “Wh– When?”
Kim snorted, covering her mouth and trying to hold her laugh back.
“Wait!! WAIT! When!? I!” My cheeks burned so much it hurt.
“Whenever…oh sweetie,” Kim giggled. “Whenever I trance you and get you in a comfortable, calm setting, and tell you to feel at ease, you just start telling me how much you love me, how much you want to be with me, and you are just stuck to me. Like, I go around the place doing chores and you’re literally clinging to my leg, kind of stuck.”
I buried my face in my hands.
“You know every time we…” It was Kim’s turn to blush. “Every time we uh, do stuff, when you’re feeling honest, it’s because you’re always so close to me and just grabbing and all over me and…” She covered her mouth with a hand. “I uh, can’t resist you like that. I love you too, and…” She glanced at me. “…Annnnd I thought you would have known since this happens literally every time, but…”
I curled in a ball.
“Awwww, hun…”
“Don’t look at me. I’m an idiot!!” I whined.
“It’s my fault, I–”
“I REMEMBER now! I remember it all!! You never told me to forget any of it, I just, I get so caught up, and it feels so nice being honest for you and I get all foggy and I can’t help iiiiit…” I whimpered.
Kim knelt down and kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry, I should have been more explicit about being able to remember while in trance.”
“You never told me to forget, I just…I guess I kind of just would be so wiped out after…” I covered my face. “After we…you know. And then I’d…forget.”
“Does this mean you’ve forgotten everything else you’ve said in bed?”
I shot straight up, scrambling to my knees. “Wait, what else have I said?”
“Hmmm…” Kim grinned, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Things like… ‘Oh god, oh god, oh god, yes, YES, please, please oh god fu–’“
I threw myself at her and tried to muffle her words.
“I mean, we haven’t negotiated calling me God either, but we can do that too–”
“STOP! Stop stop STOP oh my go– gosh, I…aaahhhhhhhhhhh,” I buried my face in her lap.
Kim chuckled. “I’m just kidding. And hey…look at me?”
I looked up at Kim, always so beautiful, so caring, my partner, the person most important to me. The person I loved.
“I love you.” She kissed my nose. “I really do. And from now on, you will retain explicit memory of whenever you’re being honest. Okay? I want to make lots of memories with you to make up for what you keep forgetting. Memories of you loving me, and me loving you, and us being in love.”
My eyes watered. “I love you too.” I sniffed and smiled to myself as she kissed the tears away.
“Can we uh…” I bit my lip. “Can we start now?”
“Well, if you insist…I think it’s time to be honest with yourself.”
A wave of euphoria washed over me, and a wide grin spread across my face.
“I loooooooove youuu,” I gushed as I nuzzled against her chest.
“I know, sweetie. I love you too.”
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