Not so fast, Professor Varius! Drop your revolver and put your hands in your head. As you can see, I’ve got the drop on you.
Ah, Lady Valentina! An unexpected pleasure, as always. Tell me, how did you figure it out?
It was elementary, Professor. Only you were devious enough steal Edison’s secret subliminal phonograph from his workshop. Since the subconscious messages require a powerful sonic medium to propagate – such as from a clock tower bell – I knew sooner or later you’d come here to Big Ben. The chance to control all of London was just too great for your ego to resist.
Well done, my dear. You remain as brilliant as you are beautiful. You really should have agreed to become my bride.
I’d never give my heart to one as fiendish as you, Varius. Now come on. You have an appointment with Scotland Yard.
Alas, I’ll have to decline. Prison cuisine disagrees with my palate
Are you a fool, Varius? I will shoot you without hesitation.
Please, shoot away. Here, I’ll even reach for a weapon…
Then you have forced my hand!
*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*
What? This isn’t my electron pistol. It’s…
It’s the vibrating phallus you secretly keep next to your bed. You ‘accidentally’ grabbed it instead of your pistol this morning. You see, Valentina, I’m not so foolish as to deploy the subliminal phonograph on all of London without first testing it. So I used it with the bells of St. Paul.
St. Paul? But I can hear that from my laboratory! No…
Precisely. For over 3 days now, you’ve unknowingly been under my control.
—
Just never got around to finishing this one. A shame – I like the camp of it.
